November Blog 2017

I walk out of my front door and head off into the world, either going for a walk or for the weekly food supplies or off to see a friend, you know what I mean, in the ‘out and about’ type of thing that I do.

I have a choice though, in how I step out into the world, from a state of ‘up and off ‘, filled with adventure and the fervent thrill of seeing what’s happening out there. Or head out there carrying burdens and therefor seeing misery and attracting more of that to me.

Somedays it is tough there is no doubt about that, but what is it that I can do for myself that springboards me into feeling great and at the very least stops me projecting it onto others, or simply rolling with this time gently as it will pass?

There are many ideals on just how to get better, get fixed, find the one, be the slim-est, alive-est, smart-est, wise-est, best-est, fast-est, wise-est, beautiful-est you get the gist. And I certainly have spent a large amount of my life looking for answers to feel better than what I was.

Therapy, books, meetings, classes, experiential healing, therapy, more books, more therapy, yoga, more yoga, in fact every day bar Saturdays and moon days (full & new moon) yoga, meditation, more books, healthy eating etc. The more I looked the more excited I got about how much there is to know about this world. In fact, some I thought, ‘that is a load of BS’, and just a little bit too out there to believe, then years later gone onto learn more and go ‘yup, I can cope with those ideas and in fact I defiantly get it’, whatever that might refer to at the time, as there’s been a mountain of themes or aspects to pursue and come across.

It is indeed a meandering journey of discovery as we live in this ever-changing world, either consciously or unconsciously and hopefully over time raising our levels of consciousness as well, which is a job, our own personal job!

The road to living and loving fully and trusting self has been a journey of coming home. And while we are here for each other, the journey of self, is a journey that only you can do. Sometimes I can feel more aloneness in a crowd of people I know than when I’m alone. So, I get quiet and ask myself what I need and the next best step to take.

And can I do something for another, as that always lifts up anyone’s spirits, even if only briefly initially.

Pastel on Paper, 70x50cm - Framed

Pastel on Paper, 70x50cm – Framed For Sale

For example, on my daily walks there’s often this old man who sits in his chair out the front of his house. Having a cigarette or just sitting quietly, I chose a while ago to say ‘gidday’ to him as I walk past and now after months and if he’s there, we acknowledge each other with a big smile and a few brief words. He has gone from looking withdrawn and alone and he doesn’t look healthy, but he’s now smiling every time I see him. A great connection that makes me feel great and him also. Spreading the love! And occasionally there’s visitors there with him that I then also say a brief word or two, of which they are open to the fleeting greeting, I don’t them but it’s like I do.

I certainly have learnt that this world is my family, and while its sparse in my ‘actual family’ being around me I have made my community my family, whether they like it or not (lol). While they don’t share dinner with me at night, (yet,) I do feel supported.

Let me know your thoughts around this. How you feel supported and how you support yourself.

Lots of love Angela